Guest Post with Stephanie Wardrop--Advice Column for Characters

The Alt

LONGBOURNE HIGH SCHOOL’S ALTERNATIVE NEWSPAPER

Mainstream newspapers had their advice-dispensing twins, Dear Abby and Ann Landers.  We’ve got the Tell-Me-Your-Troubles Twins, freshmen Cassie and Leigh Barrett, here to answer all of your questions about life, love, and everything in between.

Dear Trouble Twins:

My boyfriend is great but he sticks to the “bros before ho’s” code too much.  Any time one of his boys calls, he’s off for a night of football, beer, and farting – even if we’ve already made plans!  Help!

--Lovelorn in Longbourne

Leigh:  I don’t want to be harsh, but no guy who calls a girl a “ho” is worth dating.  Jesus loved Mary Magdalene but your boyfriend is not treating with you the same respect.  You should look for a nicer, more polite boy, maybe at a church youth event.  That’s where I found mine! J

Cassie:  Ugh.  Assuming you don’t want to date a total dweeb like my sister suggests, you might want to see what you can do to keep your man focused on you and not on beer pong.  There’s a sale at Victoria’s Secret.  That’s a good start.

Dear Trouble Twins:

I follow lots of celebs on Twitter and tweet them all the time.  How can I get them to tweet me back?

--Tweety Bird

Leigh:  I’m not even sure what you’re talking about, but if it’s an internet thing you’re referring to, you’d be better off picking up a good book.  Or the Good Book.

Cassie:  As with all things boy-related (and I assume this is), the key to success is persistence.  And cleavage.  Why not post a pic of you in a yummy bikini?

EDITORS’ NOTE:  The advice offered in this column in no way reflects the views of The Alt staff and in some cases is downright opposed to it. Take it at your own risk.

About the author:
Stephanie Wardrop grew up in Reading, Pennsylvania where she started writing stories when she ran out of books to read.  She’s always wanted to be a writer, except during the brief period of her childhood in which piracy seemed like the most enticing career option -- and if she had known then that there actually were “girl” pirates way back when, things might have turned out very differently.  She currently teaches writing and literature at Western New England University  and lives in a town not unlike the setting of Snark and Circumstance with her husband, two kids, and five cats.  With a book out – finally – she might be hitting the high seas any day now.


About the book:

Title: Snark and Circumstance
Publication date: February 5, 2013
Publisher: Swoon Romance

One superior smirk from Michael Endicott convinces sixteen-year-old Georgia Barrett that the Devil wears Polo. His family may have founded the postcard-perfect New England town they live in, but Georgia’s not impressed. Even if he is smart, good looking, and can return Georgia’s barbs as deftly as he returns serves on his family’s tennis courts. After all, if Michael actually thinks she refuses to participate in lab dissections just to mess with his grade, he’s a little too sure that he’s the center of the universe. Could there be more to Michael Endicott than smirks and sarcasm? If Georgia can cut the snark long enough, she just might find out.